Bulaw Daw

I actually had a really cool post about VUDC 2007 ready, but I never seemed to get around to actually finishing it, so I guess those bittersweet memories (just the perfect mixture of bitter and sweet, I believe) shall remain away from the blogging world, only to be shared over coffee or lunch with my teammates and fellow SU debaters. There are, however, a few favorite moments that I will leave in cyberspace to be appreciated by those who know what the heck I'm talking about and to be a source of head-scratching for those who don't.
Fave Motion: THW remove the age of consent for minors who want to have sex with adults. (even though we lost that round, still love the motion.)
Fave Set-Up: Semi-Finals = TH celebrates the existance of organizations that advocate criminal activities. The set-up fell from the heavens. I loved the looks on our opponents' faces. ;o) (OK, I'm really mean...)
Fave Reply Speech: Out of the 3 reply speeches I gave in the VUDC, my Semi-finals' reply goes down in history as unnecessarily bitchy, but still my fave. (Therapuetic in a way.) A round of applause, please.
Fave Speech: DPM speech of the Finals. It was a high just being there. ;o)
Fave Dunkin' Pow-wow: The second one. Though it was right after the loss, it was much more relaxed (read: I didn't feel like throwing up the whole time I was there).
That's all I'll say about VUDC. It's done. I loved it. And I can't wait 'til next year. Cheers!

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Congrats to Gerswane's and my baby debaters from ABC for championing (huh? probably a word) their Valentine's Day debate with SUES. Definitely my favorite Valentine's Day memory in the 19 years I've been walking this earth.

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My addiction to coffee is reaching levels of intensity that I never deemed myself capable of. Hmmmm...... The adik in me would like to thank Kyle and everyone at Cafe Antonio, Cafe Memento, the girl in the Starbucks logo, Anna, Gerz, Odie, Yana, Paul, Tinay, and all the people I end up getting shot up with caffeine with.

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There are times when I really do think I'm too cynical about life, love, school, people, etc. Then again, I think it comes from lessons learned when I'm too optimistic. Go figure. So before I fall into being Little Miss Sunshine again (the desire to do so being suddenly brought about by just connecting two dots in my... uhm... life), I need to consult with the girls. Dudes, where are you?

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I can write no longer. The little circuits in my brain are buzzing like crazy. Bubye peeps! Cheers 'til my next post (promise it won't be too long of a wait...)! ;o)

Tropical depression... When you look at it, it is kind of an ironic term. "Tropical" is sun, sand, color, and fun. "Depression" is the exact opposite - sadness, loneliness, and grays. So when can these two terms unite? Are they even capable of unity?

In the midst of a Vis-Min tropical depression (the meteorological kind) that left my shoes dirty, my umbrella raped, and all my clothes wet and fast-depleting, I experienced my very first personal tropical depression. I was (am...?) happy and sad at the exact same time. I felt like laughing and crying together (which would probably come out something like a wet kind of snorting when you think about it).

I was a walking contradiction. Laughing my ass off at Pablo Francisco's stand-up comedy (Maria... Por que???), but needing to cry right afterwards. I felt like a rainbow... the only rainbow containing the colors black and gray along with Mr. Roy G. Biv. Some could call it VERY quick mood swings, but it really felt like I was experiencing everything at once. Believe me, it's exhausting to so much of a "shaft" to myself.

I think this all comes from my confusion over which I should prioritize - the tropics or the depression. I've had a failure and a success (or satisfaction) in two things that I've spent equal effort on and expended my available emotions for, prior to this tropical depression, proportionately. My heart has gone into the two very different situations just the same. So I guess my dilemma is being torn between celebration and mourning.

When does one stop mourning when he/she has only been half-mourning in the first place? The same question stands for celebration. Would it be better to take them one-by-one - one day I'll be tropical, and the next I'll be depressed?

Well, cheers to the eventual passing of both tropical depressions in my life! Bring out the sun! ;o)

As you may know, I'm now a Rent-head. (Thanks a lot RJ... haha...) I do admit to sitting outside a McDonald's in Cebu, reading a newspaper for 2 hours while waiting for SM to open, for the sole purpose of buying Rent at Odyssey. I've got a problem. They've gotta have some kind of support group for this. I can totally see it... Me and some other nerdy looking people in glasses sitting in a circle, introducing ourselves...

Hi, I'm Kristi and I watch Rent too much.
Hi Kristi.

I'm one step away from singing to everyone I run across. That would make for some pretty fun hallway encounters though. (Actually, when you think about it, it would be pretty cool if everyone spoke in song...)

I don't know what it is about Rent. The philosophy of living for today, the colorful characters, the fact that it's in NYC, or the music (heehee... Confession: I sing Light My Candle in the shower...). Anywho, it's got me hooked.

For those who read my Friendster Blog, my latest post mentions my recent Rent moment of living in the moment and doing exactly what I felt like doing, being exactly who I wanted to be for that fleeting instance.

I am now faced with Rent Moment #2. (You know you got issues if you start seeing your life as scenes from a movie.) You know when Angel died and their group seemingly fell apart? I think that has partially happened to MY beloved group of friends, popularly know (to us) as the Sophomore Group. One of us left (not this world, just this country), two of us had a "silent war" (though neither wants to address the tension), and the other three are just busy or playing Dota (ahem.). Dang! I'm starting to wonder what is gonna make my once-happy family come together again. Will I have to develop substance abuse problems and start sleeping in the Amphitheater, then they'll all be on a frantic search to find me (not knowing that I was just spying on the couples making out in the dark)? Will that moment of reunion be celebrated by all of us bursting out in song? Hmmm... OK, that may be TOO Rent-y, but things are getting weird.

How do you document real life when real life's getting more like fiction each day?

Love is when a puppy licks your face after you left him alone all day.

I'm in a complete and utter state of emotional calamity right now. I'm the puppy. And I was practically sitting in the palm of his hand licking his face a little while ago, though I only saw him for like five seconds after he left me alone for practically five months.

This feeling totally sucks. I hate the fact that I'm really nice and my conscience likes to poke at me when I'm intentionally bitchy to people. GRRR!!!

HELP!!!

I need to watch Beavis and Butthead. Those two guys always make me laugh.

Anyways, if anybody wants to get me to do something (like writing a 700-word poem interpretation for a class I haven't even taken yet...) just include the words "I need your help..." in your message and I'll probably end up doing it. That's me. The ass who thinks she's out to save damsels, damn guys, dumb asses, etc. in despair... I'm the Don Quixote of Silliman University, fighting in the name of something I haven't even found a name for... Doing things for a guy who has never and will never appreciate me.

Woe is me. I feel so shitty. Finals week pa gyud.

One of my favorite posts on my Friendster Blog was my list of recommendations. I always find my opinion to be pretty good, and I like to fool myself into thinking that others feel that way too. ;o) So here's my list. PIRE!

1. Fragmented by Up Dharma Down - The whole album is magic. The kind of jewel that you don't usually find in the OPM scene. Awe-inspiring vocals to chill-worthy songs. Listen to "Oo" a couple times a day (I do... heehee...).

2. Crash - Great movie. It leaves you in a state of complete confusion... Who was the good guy? Who was the bad guy? It left a realization of the essence of the Yin and Yang in all of us. Not to mention the issues touched as the characters struggled through life in LA, where "people long so much for that [human] touch that they have to crash into each other..."

3. Rent - The movie. The soundtrack. The story. The characters. I first watched this movie at RJ's house on his birthday. We watched the whole thing with the subtitles on, singing along to the year they spent together. I put the songs on Ate Kaye's laptop, so now I pretty much got a non-stop Broadway musical going on in my head. It's pretty entertaining actually... No day but today...

4. Soul Music - As I have said, nobody today can bring back the same kind of vibes that Marvin Gaye and the Motown gang can. And that's a good thing, considering that most music is being run through way too many times. I mean, there are only so many times that you can remake the songs "True" or "Sway". (Ronan Keating should have just left "Iris" alone. I was laughing my ass off when I saw the videos from Goo Goo Dolls and Ronan Keating played back-to-back. Ronan really pansy-ed it up.)

5. Using phrases like "a horny version of Gwen Stefani" to describe things - heehee... I love cute descriptions. (and Fergie IS like a horny version of Gwen... Can I get an "amen"?)

6. Be on a never-ending search for "direction in life" - It makes it really easy to answer people's questions.
*Q: Where are you going?
A: To find direction in my life.
*Q: Hey, we're gonna drink/hang out/meet later, wanna come?
A: No thanks. I have to find direction in my life.
*Q: Hey Kris, inum ta after class?
A: Sure, I'm looking for direction. Maybe I might find it at the bottom of the bottle/glass.
*Q: Kris, why didn't you study for the quiz?
A: I was too busy looking for direction in my life last night to bother with trivial things like quizzes. This is my life we're talking about.

7. Lady in the Water - Another masterpiece from M. Night Shyamalan. It makes you wonder what your purpose is.

8. Voting for Pedro - Still love Napolean Dynamite. And "Canned Heat". ;o) (if you haven't seen the movie yet, I'm expecting you to run around whatever city you may be in until you find a copy and watch it.)

Hmmm... I think 8 is a good number to stop at, cuz my money kinda running out. Can't even afford internet. Bwahaha!

I'm starting to wonder whether my lack of direction in life is directly linked to the mindless things that pop into my head. Kinda seems like it might...

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Yesterday was a perfect example. Okay, I do have millions of things I could have been doing, but considering it was a Sunday night, none of them seemed right. So we went to Dunkin (wee!!! They finally had Icy Choco!) and I told Ate Kaye all about the weird experience I had that morning at the beach.

Then, out of seemingly nowhere, I realized why I didn't know a lot of the songs in the Retro RnB CD she was burning for her friend. It was because Scottbluff, Nebraska does not have an RnB station!!! As in... I felt as if the clouds had opened and I was suddenly filled with an almost-divine sense of enlightenment.


So that's why the "young Usher" songs barely ring a bell in my head! That's why I don't know the names any of those RnB girl groups who had a couple radio-friendly songs and then suddenly dissapeared! I was living in my radio-friendly alternative rock songs world during the time they came out! The radio forces of Scottbluff robbed me of experience!

I guess when you are living a direction-less existence, even the smallest of injustices can seem like land mines in Happy La-La Land.

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That moment of self-realization snow-balled into a trip down memory-lane. I sheepishly revealed to Ate Kaye that I loved the song Blue(Da Ba Dee) by Eifel 65, even telling her about the many controversies that the song ((things that only a true retard like myself would know). She concluded that I must of been the coolest girl in Scottsbluff, Nebraska- "hehe... true..." [sarcasm included/required].

Other things recalled:
*my Spice Girls phase(c'mon... everybody had one...)
*Tina(my entertaining babysitter whose daughter listened to KISS and Hanson)
*my dad's collection of tunes which inevitably saved me from having "Nebraskan" taste in music for the rest of my life... Thank God...

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Reading it over, this post appears amazingly meaningless. But in that way, it represents the things I was thinking about last night very well. Three cheers for thought without meaning!!! May we all enjoy that luxury once in a while. ;o)

It's kinda crazy how one year can pass, but you still seem to come back to one point that holds all the memories that you hung on to for dear life.

One year after my first Founder's Week, I found myself drunk and throwing up at KH (kilid sa Hayahay), just as I had done the previous year. My heart was still in a "state of calamity", and I was still as unsure about a lot of things as I was as a freshman here at SU.

The similarities are scary, but it gives me a chance to look back on a lot.

Yes, I was drunk and throwing up (not on the same alcohol or even in the same spot on the beach), but I didn't feel as bad as the freshman sitting next to me must have been. I guess a year of training can do that for you. Those innocent days of not knowing what beer/rum/gin/brandy/etc are gone now.

I wasn't with the same people, which was a bummer cuz I miss those peeps. I was with people I had met over the year after the first puke-fest, most of them fellow Psych students. When I think back on all those faces that were there the other day, I gotta remember how I met them all. A few I met that very night. One was the big sis that I only got to know well during second sem but now seems to be like the only real ate I have ever had. A couple were the friends-of-friends that now are deemed actual friends-of-mine. The sole freshie was the resident "innocent" one. One was a friend from debate, another from the summer drinking group. All these people I barely knew a year ago shared something very ceremonious with me this Founder's.

The "state of calamity" was still there, but to a heightened degree this year for reasons that cannot be disclosed. Another guy, a VERY different story, and an extremely different kind of calamity.

The uncertainty about life happenings during my freshman year that I remember during puke-fest 1 were almost all addressed over the year. I matured and learned how to adapt and handle my new-found freedom. Still, new uncertainties about a lot of new things have arisen in the year, more recently things with my responsibities as the eldest sister and my various orgs and, of course, my confused heart.

This was kinda like a New Year's experience for me, reflecting on the year gone by since last Founder's Week. There were even fireworks! heehee... I don't know, just had to look at how much I've grown and still need to grow...

Hmm... Makes me wonder what's gonna happen in the year to come...